Oh, dear, thats true. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. If your coworker has Aspergers or some kind of sensory processing disorder, they could go through a doctor to have HR find them accommodations away from other people. And that is what this is. It still may after a reasonable test end up being something about the OP. Taking credit for your ideas. Thats so interesting! I have miso and I sniffle. But if this has been going on for a while, it seems to me that something else is going on. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability. . Yes. It helps keep dye from washing out of fabric, but it can also set a stain instead of removing it. She may be grossed out for real, but the fragrance allegedly emanating from the LW isnt actually emanating, theres nothing they can do about it, and the coworker needs to lay off. Does she comment on people in the office who take smoking breaks and come back smelling slightly like cigarettes? Oh, thats interesting! And it smelled basically like light body sweat. If her scent doesnt bother you then maybe you can try it out and if you dont mind it, then theres no way for her to complain. Complaints may be about your work performance or personality. This. OP How long have you and this co-worker worked together? Detergents, bath soaps for the kids (I still use my cheap stuff for myself though). Confront Another Employee Who Is Bad-Mouthing Me. They offered her a new seat not situated in the middle of the office. I like the idea of having her walk into the office blindfolded and walk by OP and around the entire workforce, as I read earlier in this thread. Coworkers complaint was legit, but everything shes done since then is snarky and petty and mean (even if she really can still smell whatever scents OP was wearing a month ago). However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. How is 24/7 sniffling allowed in an office space without repercussions? Thats right up there with You think its cold in here? The best thing Ive ever found for bathroom sprays, which actually seems to cut through and dissipate unpleasant smells, is the citrus magic sprays that use actual lemon, lime, orange, and grapefruit oils. Or he is ready to take the risk of dating a coworker. 2. So as far as I can tell, this came out of left field. I have had to give away clothes I bought on eBay before that were so saturated with perfume that I could not wash it out, even with multiple washings and with leaving the garment hanging outside in the fresh air a long time. Is there something else youre hoping Ill try? Im allergic to a ton of fragrances. These are all instances she smelled. Are you using patchouli scented anything at home? Either way, OP certainly doesnt want to make matters worse so she probably shouldnt try it! I would sit with all the other allergic/asthmatic people (this was a call center without assigned seats), or in a more isolated area when possible. I think this can have a lot to do with body chemistry, too I have one essential oil blend made for me that has a lot of layers, but the one that lasts the longest is kind of a candle-smoke scent. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. That would make sense with the patchouli reference. Is it possible that the oil-based scents are lingering in something that doesnt get laundered very oftenmaybe a coat or even shoes? It sounds like your coworker is a drama llama and shes in the wrong. Its easy for responses that were designed to keep us safe to become a little overreactive. I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. Ask them not to wear perfume to work? Im also all for respecting that people respond differently to things so I hope this isnt just me going off my own instincts, but I think banning wearing perfume and colognes in the workplace is acceptable in a way that banning lotion and dryer sheets and bodywash at home just is not. ), so part of me wonders if shes just being nasty or if another coworker is wearing those scents and shes just assuming its OP. Because apparently I couldnt resist saying that chicken definitely has at least as much innate flavour as any other meat, just different. They figure X wasnt so hard, so X+1 shouldnt be a big deal either. Maybe she got it confused with lemongrass? Yeah not really. /ramble. Theyre going to keep pushing and pushing until either they 100% get their way, or the person accommodating them says no, Ive done enough for you, thats all your getting., For the record, I love the phrase go pound sand. Patchouli has actually been a key scent note for Dior for decades :-). In my experience, the years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell in underwear sniffing - nothing to sniff. My massage therapist uses a really nice patchouli blend oil (its the ONLY form of patchouli I like lol) and I can STILL smell it on my clothes I have washed several times since my last massage. Be clear that you took her complaints seriously & youve done all you can reasonably do, then suggest that she look for other causes that arent you. Yes, I think this is a big difference too. OK, you are unlikely to see this, but I *love* chicken. She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? Also I get that OP is bending over backwards completely to try to be scent free, but honestly, even scent free soaps are not. It's easy to fix. Your lemony scented hair will seem like a relief, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=psdc_166034011_t1_B000GKXYZ2, Oh this is way better! I dont have anything new/useful to add, but it sounds like youve gone above and beyond to accommodate your coworker. Its also possible to have the upholstery and carpet in your office carrying the scent and be unaware of it. For about a week, it was great! She also cant eat Wendys Frosties anymore because she was instructed by her doctor to eat one a day when she was pregnant with me because she wasnt gaining enough weight! My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. I would follow Allisons advice and go to HR with her to see how to accommodate her sensitivity. You dont have to turn your life upside down, especially for someone who isnt being reasonable. What she doesn't know is that I love to sniff all her friends shoes. I think this is an important point too. Scents like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes. I also dislike the smell of lavender altogether. Yes, this. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper. Its pretty frustrating to scroll through. The point is, it is perfectly reasonable to ask coworkers to make modest changes to help with allergies or even plain discomfort, but at a certain point, the burden shifts to the coworker if theres still a problem. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. Its not workable. Wait, shes not allergic or so scent-sensitive that its giving her headaches, or other negative physiological effects? My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. Does she police every individual in the office? It wasnt, but now Ill claim it was :-). But more likely these coworkers are the only people left with improvements to make in this situation. WOW! I do feel for people who can barely leave their homes due to their sensitivities, even if Im not convinced everyones hygiene regimen should revolve around them. Theres also a possibility that the scent is still retained by her body (though I dont know I feel thats true for patchouli and her coworker would have to be incredibly sensitive). Yup. Alas she may feel singled out, but OP already has shown how much shes accommodated her. It may not register with me that Im smelling something, but if Im in a good mood and start getting irritable for no apparent reason, I usually think about the smells around me to identify the culprit. It was just easier to ask me not to let it bother me and keep asking me to try new products and deal with her myself. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. Thrown everything in the washer when I get home, may not wash it than and there, and take a shower before heading to bed. I cant say that Id ask anyone who burned them at home in their free time to knock it off just because I didnt like the smell though. I will also say, as someone who is very sensitive to smells, that if the scent bothers the coworker it would probably only take a trace amount for her to smell it, although shes handling it like a jerk. Note to commenters:There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. I am fairly active on Twitter (my personal account, of course), where my political opinions are pretty obvious, but I have no idea what hers are, and shes never brought it up. Blowing is fine--sniffling is a killer. Instead they want to continue chatting or working. Youve done all that it is reasonable to ask of you. I find it appalling. Don't Lose Your Cool. Perhaps he has the scent-free version that my two cents mentioned. Um no. I suppose its possible but we have zero information from the letter to indicate race. At my last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself and another coworker. I had a co-worker who used it and one day I gave her a ride to a work function and my car smelled like patchouli until the day I traded it in, especially on hot summer days at 5:05pm. You seem to have accommodated your coworker but to no avail, so now its time for something different. I say this because it doesnt sound like her co-worker is sensitive to the smells, but rather that she is being judgmental and condescending. The only other thing I could think of is if OP is a smoker and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home. I would second Allisons advice to talk to your manager if this was happening to one of my employees I would want to know about it. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. Even in Oakland, until the past 10 years or so, it was really common for Black women to be the predominant group wearing indie oils.. And of course I shower daily. Its super easy to become immune to a constant smell. Its like cilantro: some people like it, but for others its a gag-a-thon. Feel free to be comfortable with that fact. But talk to your Dr. That could be the diagnoses. If shes got a serious problem with it, she needs to talk to the boss and make some sort of arrangement so she doesnt have to get next to you, and also so the boss can make a general announcement about a scent policy. I also let them know Im ever so grateful they are taking my health concerns seriously. I hope something works for the person who wrote this! I think at this point and said above in more detail that its now time to do a the Voice type test to find out if the smell is part of the office, or settled in the mind of the coworker to the point that they smell it if its not there. I like the good humor and kindness with which youre responding :). Im 35 years old. OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. Check out these four natural remedies to nix spring allergies. It sucked. I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. She sounds truly awful. Its not bad, its just hey, you smell like your mom. It bothers me to have to interact with assholes, but unfortunately, theres no cure for that. It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. Yeah, I think shes using it more in that sense also. The only solution we have is avoidance, and that is made virtually impossible by the laundry and cosmetics industries. Try using earplugs. or you can try a passive aggressive tactic: Use fart spray for a few days then stop. Otherwise, theres a whole other layer of gross here. Time for bending over backwards is past here. In recent years, Ive developed a strong sensitivity to certain smells. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. Which sucks majorly. For instance, I became a super-smeller when I was pregnant, and lots of things suddenly started to smell vile to me. I dont experience essential oils as lasting longer, much the opposite. I almost did a double take because I could have written this. The scent literally makes me a little queasy, just like the smell of too many lilies or orchids, which are toxic to many people, especially children. It took a long time, and as a result I cant use that detergent anymore because I associate it with spending hours with a mattress that reeked of pee. As a fragrance-sensitive person I dont want to dismiss the co-workers concern about smelling the offending patchouli. I much prefer that someone blows their nose. Period, full stop. I have a friend who wears it, and he hugged me once while I was wearing a coat. We have placed a box of tissues on her desk, they are unused. He serves as the Studio's sports and recreation section expert. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye, and ask him in a calm and professional voice to repeat what he said. It can be super effective for getting odors out, although certain perfumes and oil-based scents get so embedded in clothes that they may not come out at all :(. It's much like giving small children a new toy to play. Sometimes its a subtle smell their bodies give off, sometimes its body odor after a day of work. Yep. Morning all. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. as others mentioned, is not fine. Sniffing is a little less offensive, as people with colds or allergies frequently sniff throughout the day but do not do so to be rude. Patchouli is a fairly distinctive scent, particularly as a fragrance oil, which smells absolutely nothing like lemon. Thats not happening, sonny Jim.. Lets see if we can narrow down where/what it is.. I told my supervisor and somehow it got handled. I dont think its reasonable to expect people to completely change their entire lifestyle around outside of work, just to accommodate someone at work. I worked in a department that she visited maybe once a week. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. All the time. My mom says the same thing about Caress body wash. Sowhat the OP might consider doing is going to her boss (assuming the boss is reasonable) and saying something like, Ive tried very hard to work with Coworker regarding her scent sensitivity. OP could also ask the HR person if they can smell anything on them. She makes the most awful noise. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. He doesnt wear cologne, and keeps up his hygiene (and doesnt use mothballs). It was Jack Daniels for me. Every time this happens I go through a spate of cleaning everything and thinking I smell pee ALL THE TIME. Im sorry, no. My husband is quite sensitive to smell and he uses it so I thought it would be okay. Scent is the one sense that bypasses the frontal part of the brain and hits directly into the limbic system of the brain. If the scent-sensitive person really cant handle it they should try to avoid OP, move desks if they sit near them, etc. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. Im a smoker, and I have been for several decades now. I cant leave my clothes in my front loader over night or they smell bad (at least to me). But seriously? Yes: If you are delibrately "sniffing" also known as huffing, you can cause damage to your brain, heart, liver, kidneys. Sigh. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. So while your ailment might be legitimate, running from the room or suddenly grabbing your forehead when you smell someone these behaviors ARE going to seem rude and you might have to accept that and live with being known as rude. And yeah, it really makes me feel for the OP here. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. So many great suggestions here for how to deal with her from that perspective since she, not the scent, is the problem. But I think a lot of scent reaction is a sensory overload response rather than an allergic response, so ambient scents will be less disruptive there than an introduced scent, and of course exposure reactions, as were discussing elsewhere, become hard-wired pretty easily. Enough is enough. I have to agree . Ive been good so far, though. Not that they are scented themselves but two coworkers are all natural and I cant be near them for more than 5 minutes. And the OP is herself sensitive to chemical smells, so the Febreeze would be harming herself. But I love my body wash and would be very unwilling to give it up as it doesnt seem to be nearly as potent as perfume. Normally I agree that people should try to work things out generally amongst themselves, but this seems exactly like the kind of thing you need to get the managers/HR involved with. Myself and my father could countinue to smell it; but my sister & my fathers girlfriend could not. That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. The place sold those cinnamon-scented pine cones and she was right at the front where they were stocked. I hate the taste/smell of passion fruit now because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago. Yeah, this is a good point. Not everything can be accommodated. Wear a smoking jacket when I stepped out? There was actually a study done a while ago that found that a lot of people with sensitivities to fragrance actually had psychosomatic sensitivities. Gym stories. From what you described she just wrinkles up her nose and is not having an allergy problem. His constant sniffling - Anyone know what might be causing this? Then again, here the people rocking the strong scents tend to be older and more senior in the organization. I totally agree I know the OP is trying to do her best, and is frustrated about where this could be coming from. (and frankly, it is no longer OPs problem to address. 20 years later, Im still not on speaking terms with watermelons. The last few days its been cold, windy and raining. I think this is a good suggestion, was about to say the same. Shes never complained before now about my perfume, and Im sure she would mention if she was having health issues based on it. Or, stay home until you feel better. Or she hates the smell of all shampoo. Right; this is where the psychology of scent gets complicated, because everything and everybody has a scent, and everything and everybody is made of chemicals. No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! Plus, it may turn out that many of OPs scent-sensitive strategies are unnecessary, and that they can indeed wear some scented products. When my problem first started, I steadfastly blamed the people around me for being inconsiderate and expected them to fix it. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. Thats where my confusion is too. My parents have one of those. Talk to your doctor about Id ask the co-worker to describe the smell and when she smells it. They feel so over-the-top as to be completely unreasonable to ask of a coworker. Let go of the guilt. about. She might be unwittingly attributing what she smells to you for the simple reason your scents bothered her. Ill be damned if I change every product I use outside of work to accommodate one person. and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. The Rooster is always quick to assign blame. Skinless chicken breast with salt and pepper and grilled on a George Forman grill so tastes like bugger all else? Your nose remembers stuff your brain just doesnt and makes huge amounts of connections. Not wearing perfume to work is reasonable. I can relate to this. To be fair, the only thing Ive actually changed since she complained is not wearing the perfume. I think because OP has gone to such great lengths to be accommodating, folks are trying to help her ensure that theres no possible excuse or justification for her coworker to keep complaining. Occasionally I feel like I can smell the soap my first boyfriend used, and it still makes me feel on edge (the relationship was, unfortunately, abusive). 1 They always take a lunch break with you. Yeah she can look for more scent sources, but none of this makes any sense. Sniffle. I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired, getting out of shared intern housing, why are so many executives condescending, and more, interviewer fake-rejected me to see if I would fight for the job. I dont get how it is different than a person who has to use a wheelchair or hearing aids. Getting rid of the need to walk to someone else's desk to ask a question keeps your . 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Lunch break with you think its cold in here on speaking terms with watermelons oil at.
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