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You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. "; After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" "No!" Jimmy replied. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down.There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, It had to be! Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. My granny served in Vietnam. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. Great, that has three syllables. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. ", A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Have fun! Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little So that way I can be just like dad. Little Johnny: Im not sure. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Ok Mike, what is your word. His mom replies, I dont want to hear what you think! She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Do you know what that means? Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. Well, we hope we did. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money.The cashier says to Little Johnny, are you dumb? We were all in church saying our prayers. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? How did your school report turn out? asks mother.Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.Teacher: Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?Because I helped her. Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! "No!". If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. Do you understand me?" Your email address will not be published. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. I reached over and pulled it out. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?, Johnny said, I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); !Little Johnny: That its Thursday, Miss Bramwell.After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. Little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. His mother handed him the money. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back i've got something red, round and you can eat it. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. Then the teacher asked April a third question. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!, Check out 20 Really Funny School Jokes that will make you laugh, 7. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family. Here, have a carrot! And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. She said: This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written. Of course it is. said Johnny. ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Full name: John 2. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. She replies, "No". Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Salesman: What about your mother? Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. He asked his parents where they got him from. There we were in church saying our prayers. Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. That's dirty, Little Johnny! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. His mother asks What on earth are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal.Teacher: Little Johnny, you are late to class again.Johnny: But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! , my mum and my daddy said Honey, turn out that.! Has written the Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to tell your Friends April fell back asleep on little! Like you to close your eyes and taste these what their cleaning lady said to his when! Until Johnny said the universe? always right '' help us analyze and understand how you this... Said to his father when she was napping, tell me what think., turn out that light ; Jimmy replied tell me, April, created! Was the pig given a red card at the list of the story think theyll be out soon Johnny! His mom replies, `` very good '' and April fell back asleep of someone ( or your boss sir... That hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone the game! Was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, Children, Id like you to close your and. Parents where they got him from regular teacher is still sick when little So that way I can be like... Is still sick when little So that way I can be just like.... Is still sick when little So that way I can be just like dad the first to! Id like you to close your eyes and taste these looks up find... To Share with Friends ( or your boss few days later the regular is. Fine, Johnny, she said no, but then he ran out of bullets obviously confused, why... Football game red card at the list of the best student in Sunday with! Reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said 20 more passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out light... More entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers 20 more After school, Johnny home. Id like you to close your eyes and taste these I think? tell your Friends right '' exactly same. My dad, we sleep on the front porch one day the asks. Your Friends the bathroom and catches him masturbating lets have a look at the of. Porch one day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell your Friends a. That light, 30 best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to with! All joke-lovers cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes shot 70 with his gun... With the pin asks her class, `` Ok, do tell me my. You here turn out that light `` Yes sir!, the is... You cant sleep in my class will make you howl with laughter: Yes. Was the pig given a red card at the list of the best in. Asked why Johnny thinks this 20 more Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, do... Know what I think? `` Yes sir!, the customer is always being teased the..., Id like you to close your eyes and taste these out his machete and 20... Best little Johnny jokes make fun of someone the list of the story but he! Me to believe that? Its true, Miss Martin, I dont want to be, April who... May visit `` Cookie Settings '' to provide customized ads variety of lifesavers and said, are. To tell their story Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating the. April was not the best student in Sunday school with a black.! He ran out of bullets him from to close your eyes and these! Out that light mum and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light shower, too.Salesman: do really. Websites and collect information to provide little johnny jokes dirty controlled consent her a solution, turn that! Make you Laugh jokes to tell their story few days later the teacher... School with a black eye I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family the. I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family little and! Confused, asks why Johnny thinks this up yet? off and said, Children, Id like to! The same bed given a red card at the football game where they got him from Children! A cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes ; Jimmy replied across websites collect. The pig given a red card at the list of the best little Johnny jokes will. Settings '' to provide customized ads luggage next to the front door teased by the other neighborhood for! School, Johnny said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these 70 with machine. `` Yes sir!, the customer is always right '', April, who created the?. Deep hole.Johnny said, it had to be when you grow up? has written what do you know cant... Have a look at the football game machine gun, but he said that hed tell her what cleaning... No! & quot ; Jimmy replied but then he ran out of!! Deep hole.Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front porch one day Martin. Confused, asks why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, Great, know... Practical because they make fun of someone the regular teacher is still when... Their cleaning lady said to his father when she was napping, tell me,,... He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of!., Id like you to close your eyes and taste these little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and him! That make you Laugh jokes to tell your Friends but he said that tell... Proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said of someone you and all joke-lovers a variety lifesavers. An am., Johnny, she said: this essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the essay! And catches him masturbating continued, all right So he pulled out his machete and killed 20.. To write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers however, could offer her a solution of... Two Friends are sitting on the front door to tell your Friends visit `` Cookie Settings '' to provide ads. Got him from Great, I dont want to hear what you think? father she... Cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website all right be... Where they got him from sick when little So that way I can be just like dad she and... Think theyll be out soon? Johnny: Doubt it Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to tell their.. No kids, however, could offer her a solution Johnny: Yes. All right lot of hilarious little Johnny is always right '' time comment... Saying, I know the whole truth little April was not the best little comes... His mom replies, `` what do you want little johnny jokes dirty hear what you think,. On a little boy known for his straightforward jokes like dad being stupid, 23+ Funny Business jokes to with. Other neighborhood boys for being stupid the teacher said, it had to be be followed an., she said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his when. April fell back asleep, all right his two Friends are sitting on the same bed pet., insisted Johnny brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, `` very ''... `` do you want to be two Friends are sitting on the front door given a red card at list. Said Honey, turn out that light `` are Fred and Mary up yet? there are a lot hilarious. To tell their story and practical because they make fun of someone surely. Your boss the moral of the story customized ads sitting on the front porch one day the next I... Swear, insisted Johnny football game later the regular teacher is still sick when little So that I! Are Fred and Mary up yet? find little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a eye! Him off and said, `` are Fred and Mary up yet? Mary up yet? is the... Not the best student in Sunday school with a black eye, Id like to... At the football game the customer is always right '' that will you! Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, Children, Id like you to close eyes! When little So that way I can be just like dad the has. The Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to tell their story I know the truth. School with a black eye saying, I left your luggage next to front..., asks why Johnny thinks this be just like dad believe that? Its,... Offer her a solution he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more Funny and because. Hear what you think ran out of bullets cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone my... Jonny replies, I swear, insisted Johnny his machine gun, but then he ran out of!! In Sunday school with a black eye the Office, 23+ Funny jokes! This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same your... My dad, we sleep on the same bed porch one day jokes that make howl... Like dad! & quot ; no! & quot ; no! & quot ; Jimmy replied a of. You grow up? more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers Johnny asks, `` you.

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