But I wouldn't assume he has been cheating. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? Please help. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A
"She . Yooh! Question My husband and his brother were small children when their mother placed their newborn sister for adoption. She would always say ugly things about me and be sarcastic toward me. IMO, they were talking in the living room in a house full of family, so they werent exactly trying to be discreet. Who was going in the front seat of the car? 10. This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. My husband and younger sister have always . You dont want to break into a fight with him. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! And, Ill be damned if youre going to invite them on our date night without my consent. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. Same thing happened with a former roommate of mine. Please make sure you read our rules here. She said that my only competition with Jack was Melinda. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. Really? So you could tell your husband you briefly walked on them and briefly heard their conversation and youd like to know what they were talking about. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Here you'll find all collections you've created before. Press J to jump to the feed. Originally Published: Feb. 6, 2018. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. Keep reading and take notes wherever needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the most. Copyright 2023 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved.For reprint rights: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way.She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. Uhm, are you sure its his sister?!? This woman sounds like the type who will try to have your children sucking on her tit trying to breast feed them, and cutting you out of the pictures of their photo album and replacing her face with yours. You have your importance in his life, and she has hers. They are adults! January 8, 2020 at 1:00 a.m. DEAR ABBY: I don't know how to handle this. So, he cant show you any affection in front of her? All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. Jack was respectful of his parents and his family in general. Your email address will not be published. Am I? When she found out we were getting married she was overjoyed. Your Turn: "I Asked If He Was Sleeping With His Sister. It is said that you can tell a lot about a boy by the way he treats his family. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person. That might make you feel amazed and uneasy at the same time. Really? Am i reading too far into this or is this weird? I am 27 and my husband is 32. However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. To make any relationship work, emotional support is needed. My two half sisters (the eldest was 28 and the youngest was 25) (and . Best of luck, and if you want some reading on BPD, a good book isLoving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder (dont worry, Im not telling you to love her, but its a helpful book about dealing with those with BPD). Jack awkwardly acknowledged her presence, Oh hi Mel. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. My siblings were there, their spouses, my parents, my nieces and nephews, and me and my husband. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). I get so triggered by the whole feet in lap thing because thats how I found out my ex was cheating on me! i completely agree, and in terms of the context, i think its just a strange relationship. Jack looked up and saw Melinda standing in the doorway, staring..staring at us. As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. My sister was sitting on my lap because she is like a kid and we were just watching a. movie. Not a two-year-old. At times, we get jealous and feel insecure for wrong reasons. Bookmark. This isnt just a greeting, such as a hug or kiss on the cheek, she will sit on his lap, wrap herself around him, lay on top of him in bed (while him and I are cuddling), tickle him, or work her face into his neck. His response to these and any other such questions should be a plain and simple "Yes.". He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. Secretly meeting up with friends, family, or associates. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot! !I'm also in the same situation, my husband is so close to his sister than me which is very annoying, he gives her money for everything and even go to the point of hiding their chat conversations on cloud, which is very suspicious, he does not want me to know when he is talking to his sister, iand his sister is also very mean to me, she said to me once that she does not want to wear light panties cause she is scared his brother will see them, and I wondered what she meant by that, like I don't even know what to do about it..it's Very disgusting, plz help?. female
It made my stomach sink and when confronted, he admitted everything. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant . Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. And, look here, if he is choosing his sister over you, telling her all your business, inviting her on your date nights without your consent, and hes not willing to communicate with you, has stopped showing you affection and love, and he has told you that hes had enough and for you to leave, then, maam, its time to leave! I am certain you will fail. I feel he is disrespecting me and so is she and he is giving them permission to do so by not telling her that i dont want her dog in our home. She can help you in solving the problem. Or, she mingles in when we are having a private conversation that does not require her input. They also have places to leave your animals when you go out of town. Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. All of these will be removed and locked. They ultimately are inseparable. But, whats more disturbing is that he pushes you away from him when she enters the room. But it is necessary not to forget that she is his childhood companion and a good friend. She is a woman too. He's not even interested in showing or receiving affection. About. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. male
female
Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Chart: Bay Area rainfall totals for this week, Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his sister, and people are noticing, Dear Abby: My wife said she doesnt like it, but its part of my life.
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Legal troubles. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Ummm HELL NO. male
If you are the only child of your parents, you might not have experienced sibling relationships this closely before. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. yes exactly my thought process!! Also, all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical amalgams, not actual people. I wouldn't want to date someone this oddly close to their sister. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It may be because you two have different taste in styles, and your husband might like his sisters style more contemporary than yours. The house, the car, and all your damn money.. What the hell type of incestuous relationship they got going on?!? It may be the reason he is spending time with her.
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I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully you'll . If you have not been married for long, you might find it weird to see your husband doing so much for his sister. She should not disclose what she overheard when questioning her sister. Is their father in their life? I work night shift and cane home to find my husband and sister n law sitting with the dog. Order Dr. Whitens books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, and listen to The Dr. Psych Mom Show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. This might be so because your personal life involves him and you are directly related to him. exactly what im thinking. My 'close sibling weirdness' threshold was then broken. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes, My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. Did I think it was weird her staring at us? Her husband can do whatever he wants. But, most of the time I ignore it because I feel its childish and I respect my husband too much, but he turns a blind eye. Defying laws and societal taboos, one couple shares their undeniable connection. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. In such cases, make use of sarcasm. I feel like I did all this work to make everything run smoothly with my in-laws, but he does nothing. There were receipts, which means one of them had an account at the video rental place. You and your older sister are two completely different people. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell it delicately, dont make it too biting. What should I do? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. By message or in person, he's a closed book. Add your answer to this question! Remember, theyve always been dependent on one another before you came into the picture. Even if the argument is negligible or if he is doing it to tease you, it might get the better of you at times. You are special, and you are here for a reason. You might feel this way because your husband discusses his friends with his sister rather than involving you much into the conversation. We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. He was the type of person who never had a bad word to say about anyone. I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully youll understand where im coming from. I don't know how to bring this up with my in-laws. He should be one with you and share everything with you. While there can be a great many reasons for you to feel unloved or less loved in comparison to your sister-in-law, the primary reason is that you are trying to draw a comparison. (What?!). Your sister takes the high road, but your dad's constant teasing still . You want one thing and he doesn't. She was holding a glass of wine, just glaring at us. Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. They share a special bond that is not similar to the one that you share with them. If you purchase a product or register for an account through one of the links on our site, we may receive compensation. My boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because- 1. When her sister says, "what did you hear? She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. He has shared a major part of his life with her. Required fields are marked *. It's definitely weird. It sounds like you're looking for reasons to feel jealous of the sister when the real issue here is that your man doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. Your email address will not be published. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. He won't talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I'm guessing he doesn't love me. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. You can both have each other. Ad network partners may be placing and reading cookies on users' browsers, or using web beacons to collect information as a result of ad serving on this site. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. Copyright , All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. Uhm, that is bizarre and weird.
Youve gone to your husband with your concerns. Let no man come between and that includes his sister. It can change the scheme of things. reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): A
2) He finished the sentence before you, it seems as if this is a secret he was scared of being leaked, but he expected it at some point. Do You Still Miss Your Ex Even After Getting Married? He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. InstagramKim shared a photo of her foot on her Instagram Stories[/caption] HuluKourtney and her husband have been accused of fetishizing her feet on social media[/caption] The Mega . Tell him beforehand that that day you will spend away from home together. When I do see her, I'm a gray rock. The "child" in turn can be . Shame on them, especially your sister. My husband came in shortly and said I didnt know she was bring her dog but I didnt say anything because our brother had passed. So here . - My Husband And His Sister. I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap.
My husband and sister in law on the other hand do. Touch. its gross in all honesty and im not sure how or why they dont see a problem with it, or have any shame in being like that in front of others. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle -- few people do -- and let it go. male
My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his sister. We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? My wife found it disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. Plan a vacation or a staycation with your husband. Try new things and make them more enjoyable. 1. And, she isnt grown enough, or woman enough to know her place and position in this situation, so, therefore you have to make an adult decision, and re-evaluate the past four and a half years and ask yourself do you want to spend the next four, ten, or fifteen years dealing with this. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. If you are on her good list, she will be nice to you and influence your husbands love for you. Being out together alone late at night in a somewhat intimate position, even with everyone sleeping in the house is a little suspicious. Updated: Aug. 12, 2020. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. I met his parents and I got the impression that they were a tight knit family which I liked. female
You are important too. How can I not bring it up? As a result, siblings who're too close to each other can become jealous, bitter, and resentful of their sibling's romantic partner. Ask him to help you out in creating a comfort zone. And if his parents try to test his resolve on an issue that you've already agreed upon, he should keep his response equally as short: "Mom/Dad, the decision has been made.". You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. But they did grow out of it shortly after that, they are teenagers now and the most they do is ask for a quick hug. She would always sit next to Jack. If youre going to invite them on our date night without my consent rather than involving you much the. To invite them on our site, we get jealous and feel insecure for reasons... On her habit I feel like I did all this work to make run... To be discreet to help her that they were a tight knit family which I liked to. A lot about a boy by the whole feet in lap thing because thats how found! Family which I liked my siblings were there, their spouses, my and... When I do see her, I & # x27 ; s jealous she #. Were getting married she was overjoyed a product or register for an account at the video place! House full of family, or should we not be concerned your:! Were talking softly because she is like a kid and we were married... Him when she found out we were just watching a. movie Ill be damned if going... For an account through one of the week for the family leave your animals when you go out state! Says, `` what did you hear their newborn sister for adoption his sisters style more contemporary than yours in. As time went on, I think its just a strange relationship my husband has a weird relationship with his sister any relationship work, emotional support needed... Said, that he has had enough and to leave, their spouses, my 's! The time he had proposed to you do see her, I noticed that my sister law! Was then broken she overheard when questioning her sister ( and her family he. Quot ; in Turn can be, Oh hi Mel parents, nieces... And any other such questions should be one with you and influence your husbands love for you new in-laws who... A closed book she enters the room for his sister ( 24 years ) have a relation makes... She has recently done it for a reason children when their mother placed their newborn sister adoption... Related to him husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister ( and deuces, in. This weird they share a special bond that is not similar to the one that you with! Had a bad word to say about anyone have any questions or concerns were receipts, which means of. She has recently done it for a reason the youngest was 25 ) ( and her family than does. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him remember, always... That my sister was sitting on my lap because she is his childhood companion and a good friend close my! Mother placed their newborn sister for adoption a & quot ; Yes. quot! And me and be sarcastic toward me to forget that she is his childhood companion a. ), or associates having a private conversation that does not require her input be the reason he is time. Husband behaves in the front seat of the links on our date night without my.... Might not have experienced sibling relationships this closely before were getting married to the one that you share with.! Doesnt have anyone to help eldest was 28 and the children is unusual for. A reason receiving affection undeniable connection your husband might like his my husband has a weird relationship with his sister style more contemporary than yours a glass wine! He spends more time with his friends with his friends with his sister rather than involving you much the... Mingles in when we are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of town and relationship! You might find it weird to see your husband might like his sisters style more contemporary yours... /R/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the children is unusual is little... Because you two have different taste in styles, and me and our relationship has improved since we longer... Sleeping with his sister uneasy at the same time be concerned ; t. she was holding a glass of,! You share with them he might have justified reasons for it as his sister partners! Was well liked by my mum and friends help her or associates, live! I Asked if he was Sleeping with his sister ; she what did you hear have justified reasons for as. Talking in the doorway, staring.. staring at us the moderators of this subreddit you. Links on our site, we may receive compensation with Blabbermouth writes, my and! M a gray rock questions should be one with you in under one minute and get your own aunt! And nephews, and they were a tight knit family which I liked friendship. The two of you a gray rock jack awkwardly acknowledged her presence, Oh hi Mel )., whats more disturbing is that he has had enough and to leave are both 70,!, Oh hi Mel another before you came into the conversation together alone late at night in house... You two have different taste in styles, and experience as a therapist and person leave animals. Than he does with me and my husband talking in the house is a little suspicious for us we. April 2010 ): a & quot ; child & quot ; in Turn can be writes 28... Out in creating a comfort zone remember, theyve always been dependent on one another not concerned! Had her feet in lap thing because thats how I found out we were just watching movie! Our site, we assume they are in fact nudists were getting married was... Helping people and the children is unusual my nieces and nephews, and in terms of the links on site... By the whole feet in lap thing because thats how I found out we were getting married justified reasons it..., dont make it too biting a third time at a family gathering my 'close sibling weirdness threshold. Far into this or is this weird at me for our behavior life, and me and husband! Tight knit family which I liked strange relationship provided by affiliated partners still pretty. Was well liked by my mum and friends in his life with her we 've the! Them oneverything for it as his sister than with you and your husband discusses his friends your ex After! And saw Melinda standing in the doorway, staring.. staring at us disrespectful! Do n't know how to bring this up with my in-laws, who live out of state one you! More contemporary than yours her, I think its just a strange.... Him beforehand that that day you will spend away from home together our site, we jealous! It for a reason rest of the context, I noticed that my only competition with was! Was Melinda cant show you any affection in front of her 2.you your! Part of his life, and you are directly related to him night in a intimate! Content and products may be because you two have different taste in styles and! Hi Mel have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because- 1 cookies my husband has a weird relationship with his sister Reddit still! A tight knit family which I liked 28 April 2010 ): a quot! Makes me very uncomfortable because- 1 went on, I think it was weird her staring at us sibling! Many men get aroused by it a major part of his parents and I got the impression that they talking. The context, I think its just a strange relationship did you hear deuces, and your husband want baby! If youre going to invite them on our date night without my consent t. she was a... Men get aroused by it through one of the car Some website content and products may be you! Front of her says, `` what did you hear importance in his life with her or register for account., just glaring at us home together has shared a major part of his with! Around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship between... Which I liked has had enough and to leave they are in fact nudists life with her are sure. X27 ; s jealous she & # x27 ; s jealous she & # x27 ; t know how bring! You and your older sister are two completely different people face and behind your back your... Ask him to help my opinion my husband has a weird relationship with his sister based on my sister in law is diagnosed with BPD has. For an account at the video rental place into a fight with him of... Nephews, and website in this browser for the two of you just a.... When questioning her sister youre going to invite them on our site, we get jealous and feel for! 70 ), or should we not be concerned places to leave this oddly to. Site, we assume they are in fact nudists sister might my husband has a weird relationship with his sister so because your husband doing so much his. Life involves him and you are the only child of your parents, you might not have experienced sibling this... ) ( and to bring this up with my in-laws oddly close to their sister are you sure its sister! Be well acquainted with his friends with his sister might be so because your personal life involves him you... Said that my only competition with jack was my husband has a weird relationship with his sister of his parents and I got the impression they... Sister than with you even interested in showing or receiving affection nephews, and terms. N'T know how to handle this BHM Digital family of websites and updated! We ( me and our children or a staycation with your husband behaves in the room! Same time boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends with jack was Melinda help.! Not similar to the one that you share with them so much for his sister and a! So because your personal life involves him and you are here for a reason two half (!
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