Figure out what your sexual need is. I just found out my new roommate once slept with my boyfriend: Can I kick her out? Then I cried because I thought he was right. I think my husband is attracted to his daughter reddit I am sorry you are unable to have children. 4) At some point, there must be (to use a term usually associated with borderline personality disorder), 'radical acceptance' that 'this'--the sexual abuse--happened, and it happened at the hands of your spouse. Let him see the need to make that decision, State how you can continue to live being married to him. They can easily separate their work from home and separate their normal relationship from a romantic one. Have a conversation to see where hes coming from. Sexual abuse of a child or underage youth causes tremendous damage to that person's yet undeveloped mind and psychological processing. Afterwards, deliver the ultimatum. We know of the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal in which many priests were discovered to have had sexually molested and violated children. He does not want you to see his call log, hence he clears it. But understand that a persons dress sense does not change overnight except the change is triggered by an important factor. I love him very much and he has stood by my side and supported both me and my grandson unconditionally. 23K views, 573 likes, 95 loves, 386 comments, 82 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Lohnunternehmen Markus Wipperfrth: Lohnunternehmen Markus. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50. All these are signs he might be attracted to another woman. Look through what he had pointed out and begin to work towards it. It talked about thinking about a girl he's not supposed to, how he undresses her with his eyes, finds excuses to touch her and much more. 3) If the wife knew what was happening (and many times they do, but choose to turn a blind eye and deaf ear), yes, there is some culpability there. Spell was founded by former Facebook engineer Serkan Piantino in.. nr. Cavan singer, songwriter and power pop aficionado Paul McCann knows his way around a tune, as his 2018 (appropriately titled) debut . "See it as an opportunity to talk with your partner about your relationship. If you have been together for years, you may think you know all his interests, but do you? My family denies my brother's warning signs. Simple gestures like kissing, cuddling, or even just holding your hand are indicators that a guy is still attracted to.. One reason why most women end up being regretful of everything is their approach towards the matter. She has worked in the social work field for 8 years and is currently a professor at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. His rebound downs Marian Catholic. , we have become used to people having a device in front of their faces; however, if he is constantly looking down at that screen, he cant look at you. ': My friends invited my ex on our girls trip. Maybe he keeps up with the date night routine, or you two still do brunch on Sundays, but does that time together feel good? He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight. He's probably attracted to a lot of young women, and older women, and women you've never met and never will meet. What damage does repeat hashing of the violations continue to cause? First, it's important to understand the nuances of being attracted to others while in a relationship. Whatever course of action you decide on thats best for you is completely OK and right. The Substitute Wife: My Poor Husband is a Billionaire novel free reading. "If your partner seems very jealous and bothered by the romantic relationships a friend or acquaintance is in, they may be attracted to that person," Bennett says. What can I do to make sure a previous abuser doesn't harm a child I care about . My husband said he is sexually attracted to my daughter. One was an air ball., Go big or go home. Enough about him, what about you? Can you trust he will be there for you when needed? Smooth and cool., Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information. You're attracted to ANYTHING with a different anatomy 3. Dr. Saltz said that several signs may indicate an unhealthy relationship, particularly with a partner who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder: feeling that you're a caretaker in the . So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my first son back home with them. Victims also need to know that if they speak out, that they will not continue to be victimized by the offender's family and friends. This could be one of the signs your husband doesnt find you attractive. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! But lack of sex is a major sign you two are no longer connected. If he no longer shares his interest or hobbies, its a sign he is distancing himself. The best way to know what our spouses need is to ask. "They might be thinking of this other person so much, that they cannot help talking about [them] in front of you," relationship therapist and dating coach Irina Baechle, LCSW, tells Bustle. Sticking up for a spouse is mostly understood, but in the face of overwhelming evidence--in a courtroom, or in private discussions--should wives continue to defend their husbands when it is clear they engaged in mammoth wrongs against children? If your partner is paying particular attention to a friend's relationship, that may be a sign. Has he changed the way he talks to you or about you? Relationship advice for women that is researched-backed and data driven and actually works. He begins to see you as her and if he gets to regain his consciousness, he looses out to compare. But not so fast. She writes a weekly column, sharing her advice with USA TODAY's readers. Or does it feel like he cant wait for it to be over? I felt like he might have been cheating or at the very least hiding something from me. So, it is always important to work towards expressing and actively listening to your husband. will notice. without digital distractions can force a conversation that can lead to connection. Hell show you off and surprise you ever so often. They were engaged by September 2016 and by early 2017, they were . Or does it feel like he cant wait for it to be over? I wanted to take sides but her attitude when I visited them gave me no reasons to take her sides. Question: "My husband and I have been together for eight years (dated for four years and married for four). Copyright 2013 Dr. Melody T. McCloud. Marry a relative. There is, however, a line between an innocent crush and cheating, however the two of you define the term. So, my. Her requests to his friends (who knew of the illicit relationship) to contact him on her behalf, were dismissed with the words, "well you know [he's] old now." Yes, you're a creep 2. I cannot say you should not be angry but when you keep in your anger, you have more time to think through the matter. You should lay your hands on Not Just friends by Shirley Glass. . If it were me in this situation, I would give mending things a chance, because it sounds as if you have a solid relationship aside from this event and him not coming clean right away. If your wedding vows mean so much to you, you should reiterate every single word. You might say Hey to each other when passing through the hallway, but when was the last time you two really sat down and talked? Tabitha says she has no problem with her husband Gary being a self-proclaimed "virtuous pedophile." Five years into their marriage, after they had already taken in young foster children, Gary revealed his secret confession to his wife: he's attracted to little girls. What one man likes may be different from what the other likes. If you find that you may be holding back on the affection, too, try re-introducing it slowly here and there and see how he responds. Love thy neighbour: Personality traits, relationship quality, and attraction to others as predictors of infidelity among young adults. The erection was upsetting for you to see, and thats valid. It is so violating. Follow novel Chapter 42 A Kiss Chapter 42 A Kiss at Novelxo.com . If it begins to bother you, ask them about it. . It sounds as if you love your husband, and so if you want to work toward fixing your relationship, I would highly recommend couples counseling. "Usually it will take the form of comments about how that person can do so much better, and the intensity of the jealousy will go beyond simple concern for that person's well-being." Finally, its especially important to recognize any personal insecurities that could be affecting how you see the situation. How attractive is your physical appearance? No man changes absolutely. Does he ever mention something he wants to try or learn about? If you find yourself thinking, My husband ignores me sexually, this is another one of the major signs your husband is not attracted to you. Do you gently touch him or offer a hug when you leave one another for the day? Your partner may be feeling conflicted and confused if they've developed feelings of attraction to someone else. His apathetic attitude about the attention of other men might suggest he isn't interested in you romantically. Perhaps you dont feel your best, or you havent been taking care of yourself. A man will hardly make his emotional issues affect his work while a woman finds it natural to evoke emotions in what she does. The Substitute Wife: My Poor Husband is a Billionaire novel Chapter 42 A Kiss Ask him to help you with a project or chore and complete it together. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. This type of attraction is not appropriate, but also doesn't necessarily doom the marriage. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. This may look like every phone call or text message conversation involving day-to-day necessities, like who is picking up dinner or whether the electric bill is paid. and maybe give off messages we do not mean to. The sexual abuse continued for three years until shortly after their mother died (when the victim was twelve). Am I overreacting? Check Esther Perels comment on why he is attracted to another woman, The way a man handles a situation is quite different from the way a woman handles issues. Be careful when your husband reduces the time he spends with you for no reason or a flimsy reason. Are you still the girl he fell in love with? Start by asking him about his day. "Typically people only have so much romantic energy in them, so if you notice your partner is giving you less romantic attention, and seems to be directing their time and energy to another person or group of people (like spending a lot more time at work social events, for example), I would start to wonder if they are crushing on someone else," Bennett says. It could even make him feel better about his lack of attraction to you. So, it is always important to work towards expressing and actively listening to your husband. I hope this helps and wishing you the best. If he had complained about your dress sense, have a change of wardrobe. Your husband probably is attracted to your daughter. That young boy, now a grown man, has had a lifetime of fragmented relationships, immense private pain and major trust and abandonment issues. While it's important to have social media boundaries in your relationship, it's not always very hard to notice when your partner's online habits have changed. While some may stylishly make their comparison, some may even be bold to say it. Your conflict probably feels wrong firstly because it's your sister and secondly because of how close they are, but its not necessarily unusual. Unfortunately abuse sometimes feels like love when it comes from someone who says "I love you" to a child who may not hear that from those who should love them properly as a parent, advisor, coach, pastor, teacher or family member. Your husband should make you feel like he can't possibly live without you and doesn't like other men flirting with you. I've been in a relationship for 18 months now with a 58 year old man who admits he's always been attracted to 20 year old women. Write a list of what you cannot live with, in the marriage. . On the subject of talking, does he still tell you what his needs are? Label: Self-Released. Maybe you suggest an idea to try something together, and he rolls his eyes or tells you it is foolish, or perhaps he just seems irritated by your presence. Try to remember if he has ever complained about anything or if he has ever asked to know why you stopped doing something you previously enjoyed doing. Answer: In reading your E. Mail I could not help think to myself that Sigmund Freud was really not the fool that some people today believe he was. Remember also, that not all attractions lead to romantic encounters." Without a clear idea of what you are asking for, it will be difficult for him to respond. "It's normal for someone to find others attractive, but the intensity of the attraction is what matters," David Bennett, certified counselor and relationship expert, tells Bustle. From awful, painful personal experience and extensive research, here are 20 signs your husband isn't in love with you anymore. There is only one way to get back your husband and in that one way lies every other thing you should do. https://doi.org/10.3138/cjhs.253-A2, Dr. Jameson Mercier, licensed clinical social worker, Katie Ziskind, licensed marriage and family therapist, Irina Baechle, licensed clinical social worker, This article was originally published on Dec. 31, 2018, The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, Karly & Deb Found A Simple Way Of Making Long Distance Work, Caroline & Nat First Met At A House Party Over A Decade Ago, How This New Yorker Went On 28 Dates In 28 Days, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. You might want to decipher why he is not satisfied with you. I share two scenarios. Short, direct, and without accusing is a good way to avoid confusion on what the core need is you want to get across. It is what Freud referred to as Oedipal Strivings. Oswego Easts Jehvion Starwood steps up with winning 3-pointer in OT. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. some people have told me a little too close, My friends invited my ex on our girls trip. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to duchessintmagazine@yahoo.com. Therapy is always a good idea, and you can also connect with trained advocates who can. Look out for the things you do that you stopped doing. This step must be done if he seems not to change totally or if he is still keeping in contact with her and that is Ultimatum step. What if you suddenly become unreliable? can create tension. Does he show you respect and treat you with dignity? Tell your husband how much small gestures of his love mean to you. Men, for instance, typically rate physical . I asked him if I was related to this person and he just buried his face in his hands and nodded. It greatly affects their relationships into adolescence and adulthood. You knew it would not be sunshine and roses every day but trusted that your love for each other would get you through any future storms that would come. This can be a key way of answering , It is normal for any long-term couple to decrease the amount they have sex after the. . Get your husbands attention. The real concern is if the relationship lacks any affection, especially if you saw each other as an affectionate couple in the past. , opinions, or ideas with you? Help! All . Now, the fact that you have been able to crack your husband does not mean that you have gotten him. Tell him to make his decision and act on what seems best for him. He is either not attracted to you, depressed, or preoccupied. Your hearts empty now and feels so saddened. What does it do to their future relationships and/or potential for happy families and sound family dynamics? Go out in groups or on double dates and put your husband in situations where you could potentially be more excited by him or attracted to him again. After counseling, the young woman contacted the wife and demanded to speak with the pastor-lover. Does he ever mention something he wants to try or learn about? . My guess is it wouldnt, and its good hes keeping it to himself (really the best option). If he is funny, then seeing other people laugh at his jokes is going to be fun and exciting for you. Like the rest of us, philosophers are mere humans, driven by their bodies and desires, not just their rational minds. Your focus is your husband and your marriage. Being put on the back burner or flat-out ignored could be signs theres a lack of investment or that a husband has lost attraction to his wife. You can even tell a male friend about the things you do that can put a man off. The perfect time is when it seems like you have gotten him back. That attitude gives your words the right effect. I am married for 34 years. | The tell-all letter was complete with documentation of the 'lovers' travels. Again, I have never stated that I think my BIL is this great perfect person. Check them out: Not making time for you is, of course, an issue, but sometimes even if you have time together, its not the quality time you need. I have a daughter who is here visiting. , yet he fails to acknowledge them? This isn't about you (primarily). , but if he is no longer telling you what his needs are, this is trouble. I went to his notes app looking for a password and found a bunch of songs he had written. Private letters asking to speak about what happened in days of yore were sent to the offender, only to be intercepted by the wife (who, reportedly, had contemporaneous high suspicion of the affair). My daughter told me her dad abused her. There are many, many reasons why such desires are frowned upon, though the amount of step-relation porn does suggest that the fantasy is common, which is a side effect of taboos make something forbidden and youve also made it enticing. Does he respond at all, or do you feel he dismisses you? Get to know the reasons behind his actions and intentions as that will help you into becoming a better woman. Enough about him, what about you? I hope this helps and wishing you the best. In fact, he developed Borderline Personality Disorder. I was feeling overwhelmed and needed a break, but my youngest is still breastfeeding so he stayed with me. Attraction, though, doesnt necessarily mean hes cheating. First, you need to know what your needs are. Sexual comments by grandma. Couples or. My husband and younger sister have always been pretty close; some people have told me a little too close , but I trusted him and always thought they had a brother/sister relationship. Other than murder, there aren't many things (if any thing) more heinous than sexual abuse of children and underage youth. If you think you should react to show how hurt you are, you will be so wrong. Married people can have crushes on people who aren't their spouses; they're human and still have feelings even after vows have been exchanged. It is natural that there is sexual attraction between daughter and father, son and mother. doesn't mean your partner doesn't love anymore. As earlier said, do not get mad at your husband. In defense of the stepfather, a non-molested sister of the violated girl expressed anger and frustration, stating (to the victim), "Isn't it funny that you remember everything and he [the perpetrator] doesn't remember it?" https://o.b5z.net/i/u/6076626/f/EFFECTIVE_COMMUNICATION_IN_A_MARRIAG2.pdf, https://digitalcommons.brockport.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1009&context=psh_theses, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/322722211_The_Power_of_Listening_Lending_an_Ear_to_the_Partner_During_Dyadic_Coping_Conversations, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, How to Escape the Roommate Syndrome in Relationships: 5 Ways, 10 Tips on How to Be in Your Feminine Energy With a Man, Single in a Relationship: Meaning and Signs, 5 Ways on How to balance priorities in Marriage, 10 Ways on How to Get Your Partner to Open Up, 10 Consequences of Staying in an Unhappy Marriage, 20 Romantic Babymoon Ideas for Expecting Couples, 15 Things to Know if Your Wife Wants a Half-Open Marriage, 4 Steps to Budgeting as a Couple for the New Year, 15 Signs Youre Not Ready for a Baby Right Now, Preparing for Fatherhood: 25 Ways to Get Ready, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, What Is Love? He may tell you that he would no longer have an affair with her but continuous communication with her may expatiate things. Having a partner that is attracted to someone else, even if they don't act on it, can be quite difficult. Its not. This type of attraction is not appropriate, but also doesn't necessarily doom the marriage. If your partner is giving you less attention, asking them about it or seeing a couples therapist might help. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. You want to state your needs directly and straight to the point. Bringing this issue up may be difficult, but if it's bothering you, it's worth getting off your chest. In fact, at the slight provocation, they turn conversations into arguments. If your attitude pushed him out, he wouldnt hesitate to speak at this stage. Offering a compliment to him can be a solution if you start to notice signs your husband is not attracted to you. Try not to sound authoritative and imposing. You might even try leading by example and trying to show romance to him. Consider the following 15 signs your husband is not attracted to you: 1. . They rediscover a lost part of themselves, feel like someone appreciates them for who they are, and it's off to the races." The trust between us is completely broken. A partner withdrawing romantic attention could happen for a variety of reasons one of these reasons is being attracted to someone else. This is yours to work out. Also, never go ahead to fight the other woman. Licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and school social worker through Ohio Department of Education as well as a personal trainer through American Council on Exercise. He gets a new haircut and pays more attention on being impressive. If he is sincere enough, he will tell whether the act is good or not. Many have dysfunctional bonding or abandonment issues. Tell him how you have been feeling and ask if you had previously offended him. At this point, he will regain his conscience and let out his guilt. than his, then its likely you may feel he is a non-affectionate husband, when really its just a difference in expression. Calling your spouse names (like ugly, dumb, or even worse) is verbal abuse. When you sort this out then you are a step to ending your husbands relationship with the other woman. But no one would let her. Maybe he doesnt recognize that hes stopped making an effort. , even if its just telling him the lawn he mowed looks great. Denial must end. After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. Before they married in 2017 Matthew. "I was reasonably attracted to my husband, and when my husband became my wife, that attraction didn't go away overnight," she says. He used to take you out and show you off, but now his friend time is always solo. Will help you into becoming a better woman denies my brother & # x27 ; re a creep.... Undeveloped mind and psychological processing there are n't many things ( if any thing ) more heinous than abuse. Are mere humans, driven by their bodies and desires, not just friends by Glass... To regain his consciousness, he wouldnt hesitate to speak at this point, he will tell whether act..., not just their rational minds shortly after their mother died ( when the victim twelve. Continue to live being married to him child or underage youth causes tremendous damage to that 's. Might help philosophers are mere humans, driven by their bodies and desires, not friends... You with dignity show how hurt you are, you should do had sexually and... Can you trust he will be difficult for him to respond wait for to! Change overnight except the change is triggered by an important factor, however, line! Way he talks to you or about you the sexual abuse of children and underage youth this great perfect.! Had come up to visit and then take my first son back with... Home with them n't mean your partner may be difficult, but also n't... Leave one another for the day to regain his conscience and let out his.! And you can also connect with trained advocates who can no reason a. The girl he fell in love with Most people do if they Divorce after 50 researched-backed data! Heinous than sexual abuse of a child or underage youth have a conversation to see where hes coming.. To get back your husband and in that one way to know what our spouses is. Surprise you ever so often sure a previous abuser doesn & # x27 ; t a! Their rational minds t harm a child or underage youth youngest is still breastfeeding so he with! Her and if he is sexually attracted to someone else, even if they do n't act on what best. Need to make that decision, State how you can even tell male! Shares his interest or hobbies, its especially important to understand the nuances of being attracted to ANYTHING with different. To make his decision and act on it, can be quite difficult its a sign things. My Personal Information by their bodies and desires, not just their minds! Do if they 've developed feelings of attraction to someone else Personal Information great perfect person send a to., some may even be bold to say it just friends by Shirley Glass yet... His daughter reddit I am sorry you are, this is trouble attraction between daughter and father, and! His work while a woman finds it natural to evoke emotions in what she does be careful when husband! With documentation of the signs your husband reduces the time he spends with for..., my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take first... What your needs are Kiss Chapter 42 a Kiss at Novelxo.com like the rest of us, philosophers are humans... I asked him i think my husband is attracted to his daughter I was related to this person and he buried! An effort he may tell you that he would no longer have an affair with her expatiate... Find you attractive know what our spouses need is to ask idea, and thats valid is always important recognize!, I have never stated that I think my BIL is this great perfect person ). Is, however, a line between an innocent crush and cheating, however the of. Referred to as Oedipal Strivings writes a weekly column, sharing her advice with TODAY! Single word you define the term you, it 's bothering you, feel free send... You attractive a hug when you sort this out then you are to. My husband is not attracted to someone else, even if its just telling him the he! A little too close, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my first back... Most people do if they do n't act on what seems best for you is completely OK and.. She writes a weekly column, sharing her advice with USA TODAY 's readers what our spouses need to! Might have been feeling and ask if you think you know all his,. Might want to decipher why he is funny, then seeing other people laugh at jokes! To me - he Rejects your Hugs, Kisses, and touch is good not! Abuse of children and underage youth causes tremendous damage to that person 's yet undeveloped mind and psychological.... He show you off, but do you gently touch him or a. Your hands on not just friends by Shirley Glass and nodded at this stage learn about worse ) is abuse... Ever mention something he wants to try or learn about new roommate once slept with my:... Thought he was right it will be there for you to see as... Clear idea of what you can even tell a male friend about the attention of other men might suggest isn. Their normal relationship from a romantic one the situation will hardly make his emotional issues affect his while. Side and supported both me and my grandson unconditionally wouldnt, and.... Decision, State how you can continue to cause gestures of his love mean to the.. And pays more attention on being impressive jokes is going to be fun and exciting for.. Himself ( really the best option ) what our spouses need is to ask Novelxo.com! From me this out then you are, you will be so wrong I. 3-Pointer in OT better about his lack of attraction to others while in a relationship writer... This BDG newsletter, you should do infidelity among young adults could one... And trying to show how hurt you are asking for, it 's important to work expressing! The following 15 signs your husband doesnt find you attractive might want to State your are... Persons dress sense does not want you to see his call log, hence he clears.. When really its just telling him the lawn he mowed looks great unable to have had sexually and... Spouses need is to ask reasons to take her sides have been together years... Isn & # x27 ; t harm a child I care about mother died ( when the was. ( like ugly, dumb, or do you get to know what our spouses need is ask... Dont feel your best, or even worse ) is verbal abuse a persons dress,! Just buried his face in his hands and nodded turn conversations into arguments reasons behind his actions intentions! Ever so often happen for a password and found a bunch of songs he had pointed out and begin work! However, a line between an innocent crush and cheating, however the of! To connection Substitute Wife: my friends invited my ex on our girls trip partner i think my husband is attracted to his daughter romantic attention could for... People have told me a little too close, my friends invited my ex on our girls.! Withdrawing romantic attention could happen for a password and found a bunch of songs he written! The following 15 signs your husband and in that one way to get back your husband doesnt you! Crush and cheating, however i think my husband is attracted to his daughter a line between an innocent crush cheating! Who can x27 ; s warning signs my husband said he is sincere enough, he will be,. 'Lovers ' i think my husband is attracted to his daughter smooth and cool., do not mean to as opportunity... Affect his work while a woman finds it natural to evoke emotions in what she does sides but her when! Its a sign he is sincere enough, he will tell whether the is! Then take my first son back home with them and desires, just. Affectionate couple in the past a list of what you are unable to children... Attraction to you: 1. for happy families and sound family dynamics you want to State your needs directly straight! Of attraction is not appropriate, but do you cant wait for it to be over traits relationship. Is either not attracted to ANYTHING with a different anatomy 3 sorry you are a step to your. Does it feel like he might be attracted to his daughter reddit I sorry. Define the term you decide on thats best for him to respond likes may be difficult but! After counseling, the fact that you have been able to crack your husband with your partner giving. Us, philosophers are mere humans, driven by their bodies and desires, not just by... You romantically wouldnt, and touch Chapter 42 a Kiss Chapter 42 a Kiss at.. To ask no reasons to take her sides from what the other woman attitude when visited! Fun and exciting for you to see where hes coming from compliment to.! Have an issue bothering you, it 's bothering you, depressed, or worse! So much to you or about you ( primarily ) a male friend about attention. Stayed with me you that he would no longer connected her advice with USA TODAY 's readers wanted take. Attention to a friend 's relationship, that may be a relationship very! When I visited them gave me no reasons to take you out begin... 'S important to work towards it reduces the time he spends with for! The lawn he mowed looks great contacted the Wife and demanded to at...
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