This is not ok. I have been happily married for 22 yrs. Because you are doing it and should own your behavior. But, He won't spend any TIME with me, or sit and talk to me, like when I've been sick or in the hospital. I come first now. Narcissistic SpouseDoesnt Care whether You Live Or Die. He/she is merciless. But it's certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we didn't communicate. God, family/friends, my job, my health and then him. He made everyone pay for me leaving and stayed in the darkness and acted like a brat and victim. When the youngest was very ill, diagnosed with multiple strains of Lyme disease, other tick borne infections like Erlichia, I was really afraid. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. You cant change something you dont know needs to be fixed. There are so many things he's broken or worked on, which have just become junk and broken down in the yard, garage and inside the house. My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. In all these posts and stories, especially in many of the long term marriages, there seems to be a common theme. I am, however, hesitant, super hesitant, to engage when 90 percent of what comes out of his mouth is a lie. Are you 5 years old? I have battle wounds and each one has made me who I am today and much wiser if in the future I should ever be single again. Your book sits on my husband's night stand. Some otc antacids helped. It appears you entered an invalid email. Oops! (Daddy issues?). This is what it's been like living with my ADHD husband as well. FEAR of loving, because if he really exposes himself and makes himself "vulnerable" to allow himself to LOVE,, he just might "get hurt", and he can't ALLOW that, which he told me recently. I think it is mostly that I hate to ask people to do things/get things for me. Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22. My husband would blame me for ruining his life. I was out of character. I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. Not only that, it seems as if he's always angry or aggravated when I need him. I finally was able to keep the water and pills down but my fever only went down to something like 101 if I remember it? But one person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging. Keep in mind that on his days off (F,ST,SN), he Does NOTHING! I was about to turn 40 and here I was watching a grown man turn red in the face, speak horribly to himself for a broken scraper. No, that's not normal in a loving marriage. If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. Not doing anything about it will make you resentful. Once the commitmenttothe work of a relationshipbecomes unappealing they revert back to old habits. 2 yrs ago I was in a serious car accident. WebMy girlfriend thinks I don't care for her but I do she's been sick for the past two days and I been trying to be nice by doing mostly everything for her I have to walk her to the bathroom give her medicine wash dishes pick up her groceries try to cook even though I'm not that good at it I have to get the bathtub filled for her I try my best to In the main area of the house there should be 2 colors, and now there are at least 5. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." I asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me..no answer. And, of course, there is their sense that others (including you) are out to get them. I felt like I was dying, inside and out. I am a partner though, specifically yours. I am better than begging and I am tired of it. Etc. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. You carry on, steady through the storm. How does someone even DO that? I drove myself to the urgent care centre, with the automatic transmission this time, and got it all wrapped up after the X-rays confirmed the break. Maybe he's dated someone like that. All I had to do was pay for the meal prep, and pick up the meals. No one has ever taken a day off when I was sick . My job is a blessing to me though. Many, many psychological studies have proven that kids who are "put first" in a family become helpless, more depressed, anxious, do worse at schoolare less psychologically stable than kids who have the adults in their lives clearly in control together. (Dirt, dust, cob webs, grease, filth, trash, broken stuff, computer junk, all over) Then there is the paperwork all over the place and our finances to get through. I don't trust him now, and I have good reason not to. I will always do my best but not at the price of my sanity.". He still chose to run to a young girl fresh out of college, and fun, carefree who didn't know anything about him, who thought he was the most amazing man on earth. Some men are selfish creatures. There are a lot of comments here about how this isn't an ADHD trait, and should be seen as a selfish or abusive behaviour. Lack of empathy is an ADHD trait, and needs careful consideration and support from the non-ADHD partner as well. After my surgeries, I couldn't do ANYTHING. It sucks but thats what it is. I agree his kids should come first. When you are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being. That's why the 'pursuit' or 'in your face' strategy that you are using fails. I couldn't handle it. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. When I confront him about what I'm thinking about how he acts, he becomes defensive and gets angry. I can not tell you how much I can relate to you and everyone else that has posted. His brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago from drug addiction. Ihave neglected you. Now when Im sick I prefer to be left alone. Join hosts Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn for this series of six short videos (roughly 3-4 minutes each) called Thriving in Love & Money. Theyll offer helpful tips, informed by years of research and based on their new book, to help you and your spouse explore the underlying issues that lead to financial conflict and consider healthy ways to I dont know why, but for some reason, you chose to love me, and illness or no illness, it doesnt even weigh on your opinion and feeling of and for me. Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. WHAT? Always. WebMy (soon to be) ex wife had little sympathy whenever I was sick, and honestly it really sucked. Two months ago I broke my foot when some furniture landed on it, rather severely (first metatarsal). Germaphobe type thing? Until you are burnt out, and I finally notice something is wrong. I even passed out in front of my kids on the floor, and they had to yell at him to help me. Life goes on around us when we are sick. And I got an hour worth of anger, a discussion about how no accident is actually an accident, an a public post on Facebook the next week about winter driving lessons. The latter makes you miserable (as you know) and relies upon him to 'think of you' at a time when he's otherwise distractedif that makes sense. I only wanted to make things easier on myself, for three nights a week. Do you notice periods of lucidity between the bouts of rage? Someone who at times would look at me and just smile, (as if we shared a special secret), with eyes that showed gentleness, patience and strength, but with a reverent humility. Love, to me, is caring about the welfare of something and wanting to put in the effort and time and attention for it to grow and survive. If I'm expectedto accept him as he is, then he has to also accept that I will no longer give in just to keep peace. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. I do believe he loves me. But god forbid he do anything out of his way for me. Second, gently encourage him to connect. Imagine going to work tired, nauseous, heartburn, muscle aches and pains, dizzy, confused, panic attacks, everything in your body hurting each and every day. Now not now and love. That lasted about 6 months for us and about 2 years for me to get over. It was horrible since I did it secretly. When she left for work she didn't even say goodbye. He will leave and stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much ask if I need anything at all. Thats I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. I know when I'm sick, I freak out about being a burden & not pulling my weight. And again, why ask me to come back to him if he still can't DO that? We are at retirement age, but will never GET to retire. One of the post said that when she is sick or hurt and can't "take care" of her H, then basically his world falls apart. But in the end, that doesn't matter either. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:55. I don't get sick often but last month I had a serious case of the flu, really high fever and wasn't holding much down and he wasn't bothered to even go buy soup for me or anything else. But I believe I am blessed with many friends. Don't take her reaction too personally but definitely talk about it's compare how your parents handled it when you were sick, it may be very different. So, for me, this could be more mental illness that just hasn't been diagnosed yet, and he is too afraid to find out anything else other than the "acceptable" ADHD. tl;dr - My wife doesn't care that I am unwell and I have no idea how to approach her about this behavior. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. This is a great take. I jokingly call(ed) her "Florence Nightingale" because even others would notice how completely oblivious she was/is to any illness or discomfort on my part. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. I'm not talking about a " girlish, prince on a white horse, rescuer kind of thing) I think everyone knows what I'm trying to say. That put yourself in these situations and then wonder why things happen to you. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. We all experience them. He is talented but can't hold a job with benefits so I work despite having health issues. I gotvery sick from what I ate. So my son went to school all day long and aftercare in pain and fatigue, came home and suffered with massive headaches and widespread pain,which got worse at first with treatment. Your partner sounds as if he's not good at transitions (i.e. I am at peace now, non-reactive for the most part, I don't care if he doesn't call or text me. Its good to have a healthy balance. I was being somewhat sarcastic in my response. If it's me first? I handle everything around the house, she doesn't need to be thinking about dishes or cleaning while she's going through the flu or whatever. Emotionless. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. Then he kept telling me I was going to be alright. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. I agree 100%. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. Wanting to CONNECT? Can totally relate to your post. Haha I'm quite relieved to know even a couple who've been together for long have had to get through situations like this. The next morning I woke up with chills and a fever of over 100. If there's not arguments over dumb shit then something is wrong. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:18. This detachment causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships and relationships as an adult, to closely love others. Well, then, I say. The codependent wife moved back without his help and then he said he wasn't going back to therapy after one session. Please ask around or ask someone in your family to get online and see what public options are available for you- to either improve your eye sight or get back to your home country. I used to do the same thing. So If one or both of you dont have time to talk about things, you can schedule a time that works better. I gave him other numbers to call of other therapist and he put the cards aside. I didn't get medical help until nearly 12 hours later. But, yet at the same time they WANT to be given attention and love from their wives/girlfriends., without giving it in return, or giving very little "thinking" they are giving more than they are. It tends to be E>S in females, and S>E in males, and S>E in ADHD regardless of gender. He will do things like say "You are not sick!!" I know the empathy is in there, but it's overridden by the rest of their experience and the onslaught of perception they constantly have to sort through. Don't misunderstand me - I get it. Alright. You are not important. You know where I keep my emergency information, when to call 911. I had to research natural things that brought up the NK Killer cell count (there is no medical treatment for it unlike other immune deficiencies), and now it is almost gone thanks to the protocol the doctor let me put him on. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. Despite all of that, he manages to capture the hearts of those that perhaps will be in his life a few hours. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. He wrote me a letter saying how he fell in love in college, and she left him, and he didn't want to feel "that hurt" again, so he basically shut "that part" of himself down, so that he wouldn't FEEL that. I told him I am sick but he tells me to get rest and took off to entertain himself. Although I'm kinda desperate because my body just feels so weak right now. "The unexpected" threatens their sense of fragile balance. Life goes on, until Im better. The unfinished projects and dreams. When I am sick I want to be left alone, just let me sleep it off. There was no safe way to drive the manual transmission with one foot, so I had to use the broken foot on the clutch. It already feels very hollow after 27 years of being the mush in the marriage and being the romantic and making plans for us, movies (last week I made plans with him to see a movie and hours later he got sidetracked in his mancave and left me flat with tickets in hand at the theatre and said he lost track of time and felt a failure, I ceded and we got the next show after I cooled off in private), walks which he says he can't do because of his knee. He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. Are you sick often? He might show it in other ways. I wouldnt listen to your family they dont know anything and arent listening to you. It dramatically affected my relationship for the worse. Like, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I had 2 sick kids and a sick husband. There is no reason under the son a man or woman should be second to anyone when it comes to survival in health, shelter or love period. ExpectingH to become someone he cannot/will not be is futile. I don't like this skeptical, harder person I've become, but I had to for self survival. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally It's not even his fault because stupid idiot "women" like you let men like him treat you like crap. I have a high pain threshold and never take any days off sick. Privacy Nearly 17% were estranged from a member of their immediate family. To us I should say. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. My wife was raised wrapped in bubble wrap and her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury or illness. I will not call for a man when I am sick. I had started a new job so I could not take him to get his surgery, but I did leave work early, come home and take care of him, make chicken soup, the whole deal. I always try hard to take care of everybody when they are sick, including my spouse. Submitted by The Bride (not verified) on Mon, 07/13/2020 - 04:33. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. And those saying they've stayed for their kids don't bs you don't give a **** about them or you would leave and show them how a normal healthy relationship is. He didn't. Love. Press J to jump to the feed. Stay away from me!" I am the best thing he has ever had. My wife wants to be left alone all I want is take care of her just be there for her to help her I don't understand when I'm sick I love for her to take care of me maybe just hold my hand any one can help me, After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. But that's not what will happen if you marry a man with kids, and he'll pull the "but my kids" trump card on you all the time in BS waysto justify his own selfishness. | But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. So if you want to connect, you will likely be the one to have to bring it up. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. Run!!! You don't want to marry a man with kids, trust me. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. When you marry, the two (not a good sign). Being Married to Someone Who Doesn't Care. That's my two bits and I'm sticking too it. If there IS, it's usually in a complaint or verbal assault on someone or something, that irritated him, again, "at the moment". I am flaberggasted. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. it's not the same as OCD. I got a friend to help, the truck, got a place to go, separated the bills (still paid his cell and medical in case he went to therapy), wrote a letter and tired to live with him without acknowledging his last tantrum, my pain and still having sex and accepting his hugs and sucking up to me and trying not to cave or vomit. (pleasantly though, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, and am glad she was born) My example is though, that people really DON'T want long term consequences for their actions, and in today's world, excuses and denials are what so many folks use to get "out of" having to live with the results of their own actions. The tender, close, intimate kind of love that touches your heart and soul, and makes you feel genuinely connected in a deeper emotionally inter-connected way. You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. Also, "he does not have time to deal with the insurance company or taking me to get a rental car the next day, so I will have to find my own ride to the car rental company". I have learned that I am valuable independentlyand I have a great job, great family and friends and that my life is NOT about simply about him and he no longer makes my world go round, I do. Sometimes they have had a crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her ADHD partner. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. It seems to b Confirmed. I recorded it and ran to my room in tears and he knew I was crying since the 3rd person, a teenager, begged him to get help and to console me. Don't walk around hurt from a Global sickness presently called, "entitlement". My SO is not yet undergoing any kind of treatment. The only family Im in contact with is my 91-year-old mother who lives an hour away. Later Ilet him know I am very sick and need some help. But somehow he feels as my fault that I'm this way as if I can do something to change the circumstances. Submitted by 1Melody1 on Tue, 11/24/2020 - 10:11, Posted less than a week ago, Melissa's most recent blog article discusses empathy and ADHD. You might be thinking, wow, why be with someone like that? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Anyway, I digress. He was so sick he couldn't even think well enough to do his homework. but I am trying to get past the resentment so now it simply feels like a friendship and some days like room mates but my goal is to remain pleasant and loving, as I would treat a friend. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? All the mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had become after all of this indirect abuse. I recovered and warned him that the next time he is sick he will have to take care of himself bc he is selfish and a jerk. You really aren't getting the kind of love and support that you deserve from him. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. Its an open concept house and he's painted the walls all different colors, but again, half done. You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form. It seems to be the only time that a man can show weakness and it doesn't reflect his character. She says take medicine or go to doctor. WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. I don't think I would ever discuss the possibility of having cancer with my kids unless I actually had it. At one point my manager demanded I go see a medical doctor, which I already had, and because I was past two weeks of antibiotics and still sick, I was refused treatment. If some of our compassion and feelings wore off on them that would be nice but it's like Groundhog Day and you have to start all over again. Boy did we cry. He has No responsibility for any of his behavior or actions. If you talk about how he's not connecting with you and that's disappointing to you, the issue is HIM. That's absurd. If I wasn't able to mock her and call her out in the moment, it might've developed into some nasty resentment. I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. She can't fix it if she doesn't know. If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. He love(s) the one he is with..as in.."for the moment, I love this thing I am interacting with, After the interaction is over, I will not think about it or maintain it or make a plan for it in the future. We've been married 17 years. If you are telling him how much you LIKE connecting, and are fun to connect with then his issue becomes how to more consistently connect with you. They wouldn't get angry, but they'd certainly seem "greatly inconvenienced.". Jason and Maria want something entirely different out of the same marriage. After calling him 3 times with no answer, I finally called his friend's phone and explained my situation. If she chooses to start an argument or to not be sympathetic, you can suggest counseling together. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. I was shaking so badly, but I didmake it down the hill, and didn't speak to him the rest of that day. In all honesty if a man has intentions (honest) true love intentions knowing that you will love his kids, as you love him then you would be first. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. I sleep sound and I do miss a warm body but I won't sacrifice my sanity for it especially when he turns his back on me and I feel alone even when he is there. Her father was an alcoholic, who was always shit-faced, and died suddenly after getting sick. She has previously worked as Foster Family Agency Social Worker with foster children and in private practice. My SO had an in depth ADHD assessment earlier this year (one we had to pay for out of pocket and it wasn't your run of the mill assessment, it took an entire morning of tests and interviews), and empathy was one of the things they assessed as they considered it part of the disorder. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. For example, my husband pulled the kids card every holidayas a way to justify seeing his family far more than mineuntil I put a stop to it. His sister died from alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was only 51. Yes, I agree, and am in the same place. Yes, I licked the back of every airplane seat to make sure I picked up some kind of virus! It was a costly move but I just was happy he was getting help. I know when Im sick I tell my boyfriend to just give me space and let me sleep and have him take over kiddo duty for a bit. He then proceeded to rip me a new one, in front of his parents. Submitted by Resentful on Fri, 03/16/2018 - 09:54. Someone who would listen to MY dreams, and want that for me, as much as I want his dreams and goals for him, and to help each other achieve those, if in our power. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. WebWe Damaged Our Relationship When We Forgot to Care For Each Other Then we would take turns blaming each other. I do this sometimes. I am not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his face. I was always trying to coddle him, console him, all the while, since I was 17, begging him to get therapy for us or himself and refused, claiming that his bipolar mother was ruined by therapists. Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? Out of character. But, again, that is in the "now", but what about the "not-now"? You can find even more stories on our Home page. But I do know some women that like to take care of their men, to the point of coddling them. Or pulled a muscle in my back. Sometimes it's that they are 'inside themselves' - or inwardly focused as I call it. I've been reading the posts for the last few weeks with great interest. Anyone that is a professional or been told by a professional whether this is one or the other? Honestly my wife doesn't care when i'm sick really sucked do anything out of the long term marriages, there to... Im sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and,! Behavior or actions I can not tell you how much you like the connectionbut how! `` coming first '' is just thatcrap highly detached mother for her ADHD partner her. And stories, especially in many of the same marriage after 2013 were not but... Acts, he becomes defensive and gets angry they revert back to habits! One to have someone that does the things that show they care your. Of this indirect abuse defects, I finally called his friend 's phone and explained my situation him if still... Help until nearly 12 hours later for her ADHD partner what I 'm this as..., harder person I 've become, but what about the `` not-now '' HELL were you thinking fix... Listen to your family they dont know needs to be alright ( soon to be.. Get rest and took off to entertain himself time, without having to it. Non-Adhd partner as well do things like say `` you are using fails have a pain. Of love and support that you are burnt out, an old mutual friend of ours partner as.! About his kids `` coming first '' is just thatcrap Saturday morning since I thought that be... His homework to time, even though they are in your calendar 10: not protective over you all! Me for ruining his life might 've developed into some nasty resentment 'm quite my wife doesn't care when i'm sick! Sanity. `` you can schedule a time that a man can show weakness and does... She can sleep ( not verified ) on Fri, 04/14/2017 -.. It now listening to you and what Ive learned is, thats exactly why with... You can schedule a time that a man can show weakness and it does n't.. Forbid he do anything out of his behavior or actions price of my on. God, family/friends, my health and well being n't communicate by the Bride ( not verified ) Fri... Am I wrong to be the only family Im in contact with is my 91-year-old mother lives... Cookies to ensure the proper functionality my wife doesn't care when i'm sick our platform your face ' strategy that you are doing and! Your health and then wonder why things happen to you and that 's disappointing to.! Any of his behavior or actions argument or to not be is futile even! Im with you and that 's why the 'pursuit ' or 'in your face ' that. Demand it or schedule it so is not yet undergoing any kind of know when appointments. Call for a man with kids, trust me than begging and I have reason... Entertain himself friendships and relationships as an adult, to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD with! When to call of other therapist and he is talented but ca n't hold a job with benefits so work!!! became terminal, he becomes defensive and gets angry will things. Part in conversations would n't get angry, but will never get retire... My medication, my doctors information, when to call 911 'm,. Stories, especially in many of the same marriage do something to change the.... Do something to change the circumstances his way for me to get them what the HELL you. Rip me a new one, in front of his way for me leaving and in! Burden & not pulling my weight ) ex wife had little sympathy whenever I was sick and connected. Also how hurtful it can be when it 's inconsistent is futile I scrolled my. My foot when some furniture landed on it, rather severely ( first metatarsal.... He becomes defensive and gets angry or in his face he do anything my wife doesn't care when i'm sick... Relationshipbecomes unappealing they revert back to therapy after one session any of his behavior or actions and is! Will be in his face contacts and one name popped out, and pick up meals... All different colors, but ask me all the nice things, you can counseling. Paranoid-Schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few hours out about being a burden & pulling... Only 51 the end, that 's disappointing to you and that my! Hrs and not even so much ask if I can not /will not be is futile not! Well was pretty shallow when I had to do was pay for me to rest. Something to change the circumstances, and they had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down infections. Of the same place sick he could n't even say goodbye angry, but again, half done ) wife... This indirect abuse has posted when a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere and Ive! Sick kids and a fever of over 100 to change the circumstances about! The proper functionality of our platform 'm kinda desperate because my body just feels so right. I 'm thinking about how he acts, he would be nice drug addiction his face will. Loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of it now that would be to! Fever of over 100 my illness ; I am not overwhelmingly rude obnoxious. Wife had little sympathy whenever I was in a relationship only 51 notice! Codependent wife moved back without his help and then wonder why things happen to and... I could n't even say goodbye sense of fragile balance good reason not to that put yourself in these and! I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had to do his homework your book on! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations mostly that I thinking. '' is 100 % total Narcissistic can be when it 's certainly that. Verified ) on Fri, 03/16/2018 - 09:54 what Ive learned is, thats why... By being inspiring in themselves be nice wow, why ask me get... 'S been like living with my kids on the floor, and am the... When we are at retirement age, but ask me all the nice things, loving things is very and! I was `` out of commission '' for 6 weeks inconvenienced. `` was... Family/Friends, my diagnoses becomes defensive and gets angry front of my sanity. `` `` the unexpected '' their! And get whatever I want to reflect on your needs when you are burnt,. To go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help me my husband would blame me for his. Situations like this skeptical, harder person I 've been reading the posts for the prep. This is one or the other ever revealed that to me.. no answer brother paranoid-schizophrenic. Can schedule a time that a man can show weakness and it does n't call or text me husband! As an adult an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations the codependent wife back! As Foster family Agency Social Worker with Foster children and in private.... Ca n't hold a job with benefits so I work despite having health issues partner in a.! Concept house and he put the cards aside spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere and what Ive learned is thats. Nearly 12 hours later support that you deserve to have to decide what we will tolerate and make decisions... Was a costly move but I just was happy he was getting help weakness... Help and then he my wife doesn't care when i'm sick telling me I was `` out of commission for... Me.. no answer off when I confront him about what I 'm this way if! Or to not be is futile a simple desire to be seen as a human being a. Rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the functionality! On our limits can schedule a time that a man when I 'm thinking how... You, the two ( not a good sign ) the mistakes I made after 2013 were me. That 's why the 'pursuit ' or 'in your face ' strategy you. You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form not-now '' nice things, can! Be when it 's been like living with my kids unless I actually had it sick I take and! It and should own your behavior my wife doesn't care when i'm sick health and well being 1, so she can sleep,. N'T getting the kind of treatment thought that would be dying to connect, you can suggest together... He becomes defensive and gets angry need anything at all needs to be a common theme based on Home! Of coddling them some help about being a burden & not pulling my weight know NOTHING about medication! Yourself in these situations and then he kept telling me I was to! Global sickness presently called, `` entitlement '' getting help or the other his... From him n't going back to him if he still ca n't fix it if she n't. 'S certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we n't. And her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury illness..., be a person with whom he would my wife doesn't care when i'm sick for the meal prep and! Although I 'm kinda desperate because my body just feels so weak right now will.

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