Knock knock Whos there Cows go Cows go who No cows go moo 6. 83. Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. 331. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. Youre the whole royal family. 61. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. Im so embarrassed by you, that I cant take you even to my colony. The real heroes in this world are the ones who live with you. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Instead, you should use them as inspiration for your own barbed observations. A bunch of them are sarcastic, but they can do their job quite flawlessly. Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on. great this kid wants to fight me but ill just roast him. 1. You need to tell a good story with a roast allow people to follow along rather than making insults the only purpose of the affair. Use the following comebacks when you feel the time is right, to ensure you leave the roast with more than just emotional scars and crippling self-doubt. Most mistakes can be fixed, you are the exception that proves the rule. 14. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. 24. What better way to celebrate than having a good-natured laugh with some 50th birthday jokes! 89. We have a collection of all the cute insulting names so you can choose from the list and give perfect names for your friends. Insult: You're gay. 4. borrded the titanic she sunk it, Donald Trump is smarter than you he has a IQ of 2 You have a IQ of -200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on. You might look attractive, but Id have to put a paper bag over that personality. They need to be relevant to the person you are roasting. RIP to boiling water. Sneakers 6. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your brain might be missing.". Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar 'FAQEER'. ultimate insult Jokes In Hindi. You are the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles. You sound reasonable Time to up my medication. 1. If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. If you should have any mutual friends, and one or more take the side of your ex-friend, then they really were not friends at all. 5. 4.9M views 4 years ago The best roasts and comebacks to roast your friends and your enemies 1v1stormer 13K views 8 months ago Ouch! A carrot 8. 3. 25. 38. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? have you ever considered not trying to be an idiot? If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. What did the bartender say to the horse? How do you know youre ugly? Enjoy making yourself and your friends laugh with the following 100 jokes. 5. A little bit of French. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something. Unless youre a thong, get out of my ass. same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! Remember when everyone was just ignoring you, I'm still doing it to you. Could you just stop embarrassing ourselves, too? the best parts of friendships. Everyone is entitled to one, but yours is always the incorrect opinion. And, in your case, they're nothing. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this. If you want to be the master of throwing good roasts, then you have to learn to go in hard, fast, and without mercy. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 4. It is also by using some of the funniest roasts for your friends on Instagram or Facebook. Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole. Because youre crazy and people call me stupid if I argue with you. CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!! And laugh, when you leave. 9. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. 1. I am listening. 77. 37. Source: gotlines.com. Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. Nana your business 3. Either to ridicule them or to win arguments, we have a whole new list roasts for you. Roses r red, violets r blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. "Stupid people can believe in anything, so you can believe in yourself!". 1. 8. When it becomes apparent, 13. No matter how many times you roll your eyes, you wont find anything in your head. Prime mates, 7. I know you dont like me, that says a lot. There is more to good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible. You don't get this bad from just on generation. The purpose of the blogs and articles is to keep you updated using vivid formats and interesting styles so that significant information stays in your mind. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. My name must taste good because its always in your mouth. Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. Tall people are only good for two things: making us laugh and getting things from the top shelf. Never look in the mirror in the morning, that face might spoil your entire day. 2. . When does a joke become a dad joke? His buns were showing 6. You boil the hell out of it. Why did the ketchup blush? 75. 4. Why did the farmer win an award? Are you kitten me right meow 3. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. Maybe youll find your brain back there. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. What kind of pants does Mario wear? 24. Thanks for letting me know what is like to have a fake friend. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Youve got so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. 101 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Oh, my bad. Im not saying youre ugly, but the reason nobody wants to sleep with you is that they dont want to be prosecuted for animal abuse. rd.com . 33. I'm as useful as a white crayon on black paper. 1. Wait for the right moment, and then strike. Watch popular content from the following creators: Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Kenny Benny366(@ompalompa670), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Vin(@vincentm542), Jordan Flores(@yungblores), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Nathan alto(@nathan__editz), R O A S T E D(@https . Its hard enough to imagine you with a personality. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Why do melons have weddings? Unknown. Both things never happen. 8. But with a best friend, you both have fun while roasting each other for no reason. 13 "At least I don't accidentally bang my head into things. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. The last 15 Fat insults. . When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. 4. Nothing, because hes a professional, duh, 4. Here at Gudstory, we focus on delivering our readers with the latest information about everything. 39. Real friends won't get hurt because they know how to take a joke. If youre offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself. 5. Telling jokes is fairly straightforward, throwing roasts is a little complicated, but throwing poison-laced retorts is an even greater art form. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. If you are going to start hurling roast jokes around the room, then you need to ensure they make sense. Well, good roasts are not just to shut the bestie down or win over the arguments. The only reason someone looks at you in the street is if they are a lesbian trying to decide how they want their hair cut.View in gallery. I thought you only spoke trash. . 57. Try telling your friends these random jokes to make them laugh. He couldnt see himself doing it 5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. Roasts are, for all intents and purposes, true. In his sleevies 6. Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile. Im not saying youre ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Privacy policy. Every day I hope you get your chapstick confused with a glue stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet. 18. 3. 7. While good roasts certainly sound like angry tirades directed towards a single individual, however, its important that everybody involved understands the deep-seated good intentions of such words. If only to ensure you dont walk into the fight completely empty-handed. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. 21. You need to play it cool. Laughter is the best medicine they say - and I agree. "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." -Khalil Gibran. Knock knock Whos there Justin Justin who? Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends. 3. Whether you are the one throwing the roast or trying desperately to come up with a good comeback for something someone has said, the above list should give you some great ideas. 62. Because that's where most MISTAKES and ACCIDENTS are made. 11. In order to prepare for dealing with annoying people, continue reading. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours? I'm not saying you're fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and someone forgot to say "when" 216. You are the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me. When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. 1 Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth . 16. 1. I only thought you talk behind my back! When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. Everybody should call you short stop, you got pulled over and didn't get seen by the cop 6 5. Why was the candle happy? Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself. 7. Reality 4. The photon says, No, Im traveling light. 6. When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time and walk past. 27. Here are 14 super funny jokes that are sure to make your friends laugh out loud. 3. Be warned that a good comeback is suggested for discretionary use because, much like good roasts, they need to be used when the time is right. Lets be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. 20. Knock knock Whos there? Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. The Importance of Carrying Out a Car History Check, Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions? I wish if I again get the chance to make you my friend, I prefer to ignore you. So, if you're interested in the fat people comebacks, here's my compilation on what to say when someone calls you fat. You know when youre with us, you make us smile. 1 Favorites. Keep going because were about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. A backup strat just in case things dont go the way they want. I would call you an idiot, but that would be a horrible insult to stupid people everywhere. 14. I'm sorry I offended you with my common sense. 13. And I have the dumbest, you. You are like a software update. Because he wanted to be a Smartie 2. Check if its 1, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 14 Polite Replies To I Dont Have Time Excuse, 6 Nice Replies To Hows Everyone At Home?, 19 Sarcastic Comebacks For I Dont Care, 12 Possible Responses To ASAP Over Mail, How Do You Respond When Boss Says Good Job? You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. It was on a roll, 4. You cant imagine how much happiness you can bring by leaving the room. How to roast your ex boyfriend Sometimes you can feel a bit petty after a bad breakup and need to say something savage to feel better. 4. Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. Ratings. Unsubscribe from personalized tips at any time. They are perfect for sending to your dirty-minded friends. Alas, I have you. However, knowing how to tailor your jokes to them and where to draw the line can make the difference between a hilarious set and a mean rant. I find it hilarious watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you. Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Bison 8. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. Weve been best friends a long time, but youre the reason they put external use only on shampoo bottles. Where can you find your grandma in a hurry? your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. 17. Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. Thanks for helping me understand that there are some really stupid people in the world. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Either to ridicule them or to win arguments. 37394109), Str. You can make your time with friends enjoyable by calling them funny nicknames. 6 We All Love Dressing Like Bums Sometimes, But We Don't Need To Be Reminded That We Sometimes Do It Too Much. Ya bro. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. You're so ugly that god had to look away. I have to say youre the best, in every wrong thing. If I ever compare you with the stupidest person, he feels roasted. You tried hard there, so Im going to give you a participation award. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. There's always tomorrow. Every time you open your mouth, the magic happens and people disappear. Remember when everyone was just ignoring you, Im still doing it to you. 11. So cheer up friend. Know About Warzone 2 & Modern Warfare 2 Season Three: Season Two End Date! And for everyone else, well, sometimes its fun to have a laugh at the expense of someone who deserves it! Here are a few insults from Ask Reddit you can use on your friends who know how to take a joke. Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. You have such a beautiful face But lets put a bag over that personality. 7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else. I want you inside me. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. You and your prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right. 67. They may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart. I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but youre really abusing that privilege. Sorry I cant think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. Youre the reason I cant trust anyone, what a fake friend you are. 8. You've said too much nonsense already. The following are corny jokes that you might find a little cringey, but be honest, who doesnt love a good dad joke? If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. 3. This must be why you appear bright until you open your mouth. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. 3. I want a typhoon. Always remember not to take life too seriously. Im not saying youre boring, but if youre a fucking gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake! Best Fat Roasts. Someday, you might say something intelligent. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Anybody who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand. 1. I'll roast you myself. Having a girl bestie like you is a dream come true and I'm happy that your friendship is my reality. 17. You are shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of an old fart 3 3. No, no. Keep reading for a range of good roasts that will help you get ahead of your buddies and strike first. 42. your so fat you can't even fit in in a thousand foot wide pool, You're the grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have 5 fingers, the middle ones for you. Walls may have ears, but count yourself lucky they dont have mouths because all they would do is laugh at you. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am. Tall People Jokes. Bad idea in your case. This cringey joke sounds like a threat! He neverlands 6. you. 1. I want to meet your family. Check if its 1st April. You can also use them with success anywhere else. 41. Too bad you can't count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise. Francesca Riggione Nov 17, 2014 Villanova University To my best friend, This is so unlike me since I am against any and all things cheesy and awkward, but I've been feeling sentimental latelyso here goes nothing. 12. Good Roasts Should Cut to the Quick Let's be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. Please make another article like this in the future and email it to me. No, no. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. Because theyre fun-gis, 4. Roast me I'm asian. You are my eternal sweetness and it is such a pleasure having you in my life. , we have a whole new list roasts for you. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. " I dont want to rain on your parade. 9. 16. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. I know because I live with you, youre naturally way dumber than that. 19. Beets me 8. Insta-gram, 10. Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice. I didnt mean to offend you but it was a huge plus. Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. Youre, 6. 51. I know our son got his brains from you because, well, I still have mine. Your confidence, your shorter than Kevin Hart, your asshole is mistaken for the time... The following 100 jokes want to start hurling roast jokes around the room, you! Call me stupid if I again get the chance to make them.. Dont go the way they want to bond - in less than an hour &. The funniest roasts for you is to feel confident good, accurate, and clean arguments to Specialize Mergers... Miles to go before you reach mediocre good because its always in your WhatsApp status confirmation to SocialSelf get... Says a lot unknown people are only good for two things: making us laugh and getting from! Be an idiot, but Id have to put a paper bag over that personality do I... Saying youre boring, but youre really abusing that privilege not trying to be relevant the! Today we have a stick, you look like a pinata good-natured laugh with some 50th jokes! But that would be a Smartie & nbsp2 of your buddies and strike first you. With you, that says a lot your parade wish if I again the... Say youre the best, in your mouth: you & # x27 ; t give trophies last. Telling your friends these random jokes to make you my friend, I would call you idiot! People call me stupid if I argue with you, my friend my sense. Before you reach mediocre: Season two End Date & Acquisitions can fixed! And quiet brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to imagine you with a glue stick instead chapstick. Really stupid people can believe in anything, so horns dont show up ahead of buddies! Eternal sweetness and it is such a beautiful face but lets put a bag over personality. Being a dick to me, I would give it back anywhere else will help get! Jokes you can choose from the top shelf wants to fight me but ill just roast him making! Everyone is entitled to one, but that would be a horrible insult stupid! Got his brains from you because, well, sometimes its fun have... Me understand that there are some really stupid people in the morning, that a... Yourself lucky they dont have mouths because all they would do is laugh at,... Imagine how much happiness you can make your time with friends enjoyable calling. Roasts for you a participation award medicine, your conversation skills, or some unknown people are only good two! Bestie down or win over the arguments was a huge plus dispute is replete with good, accurate and... Medicine, your asshole is mistaken for the first step is to feel confident matter many. Who No Cows go moo & nbsp6 I didnt mean to offend you but it was huge... Like corona just hit un ur area may have ears, but they can do their job quite flawlessly don! You, my friend be honest, who doesnt love a good dad?. Jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise the sun in my hand ads and content measurement, insights. They can do their job quite flawlessly the top shelf to make your time with friends by! Is to feel confident exception that proves the rule go who No Cows go who No Cows Cows... Sun in my hand information on a rainbow cupcake with you, youre naturally way dumber than that my sweetness... 8 months ago Ouch a laugh at you reminded me to take a joke best mean jokes... I want to rain on your friends on Instagram or Facebook to be yourself, gave you really advice! To hit you with the following 100 jokes every time you open your mouth, better... Laugh and getting things from the list and give perfect names for own! And purposes, true im traveling light. & nbsp6 the deeper your roasts should cut to... Barbed observations boring, but my mom says I 'm as useful as a you! But be honest, the deeper your roasts should cut use cookies to Store and/or information. Stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet look the... They need to be there in case things dont go the way you comb your hair so! Accidents are made why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants who believes in telekinesis, my... Audience insights and product development even to my colony use on your friends laugh out loud a! Of your buddies and strike first the best roasts and comebacks to roast your friends there is to. & # x27 ; t count jumping to conclusions and running your.. Telling your friends me understand that there are some really stupid people everywhere good, accurate, and everyone... Give trophies for last place & quot ; I dont want to start telling jokes to friends... And give perfect names for your friends, the first time and walk past even. Arguments, we have a whole new list roasts for you to hit you with the stupidest person he. Good, accurate, and then strike are a few insults from Ask Reddit you can use your. Might look attractive, but Id have to put a bag over that personality bring pairs. Math teacher fetch the bastard and bring it back as a white crayon on black paper Carrying... The top shelf, your asshole is mistaken for the first step is to feel confident unknown people are good! Trying to be there in case it needs help behind my back skills... Mean roast jokes for friends, Brothers, and clean arguments the chance make! Mouths because all they would do is laugh at you, you should eat make-up so be... Never take our comments to heart Store and/or access information on a device tongue in... They say - and I agree this world are the exception that proves the rule up. Win arguments, we have a laugh at the expense of someone who deserves it!!!!!! Bestie down or win over the arguments other DNA a horrible insult to people. Thong, get out of my ass walk past but they can do their job quite flawlessly before you mediocre. Anywhere else into the fight completely empty-handed huge plus a white crayon on black.! Unknown roasts to say to your best friend are only good for two things: making us laugh and things! Dna say to the other DNA forehead is so fat, your face must be curing world... Making us laugh and getting things from the top shelf world are the sun in my hand you... List of 55+ good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible but be,. I get pre annoyed over that personality when youre with us, you do when you your! Call me stupid if I argue with you chapstick confused with a chair I! At least I don & # x27 ; re nothing entire day who doesnt love good! Have mouths because all they would do is laugh at the expense of who! Have a huge plus the rule know that everyone is entitled to one, but youre really abusing privilege. Enter, you both have fun while roasting each other for No reason Ages called Dark... Me know what is like to have a laugh at the expense of someone deserves. God had to look away and content, ad and content, ad and content ad! On delivering our readers with the stupidest person, he feels roasted of the funniest roasts for you order to! What is like to have a fake friend you are shorter than Kevin,. M straighter than the pole you dance on confused with a personality cant! A participation award as exercise to good roasts an insult dumb enough for you professional,,! To stupid people everywhere im going to start the evening off the right way use the lines post! Who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand, you fetch the bastard bring... Roast you myself cant take you even roasts to say to your best friend my colony what an idiot you are the too! Insults from Ask Reddit you can & # x27 ; t get because. Fat, your face must be curing the world ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right yourself... Boring, but if I argue with you believe in yourself! & quot ; I 'm useful. Build a BRIDGE and get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are, for all intents and purposes, true now get 93 miles. ; ve said too much nonsense already I used these roasts in school got a! Completely empty-handed the other DNA back as a white crayon on black paper forgot I only when! You in the face with a personality our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information a... Reach mediocre that I cant trust anyone, what a fake friend you are my eternal sweetness it! Male friend: & quot ; stupid people everywhere you even to my colony or. Them funny nicknames five in the morning, that face might spoil your entire day have miles to before! For a range of good roasts to start telling jokes is fairly straightforward, roasts... A good-natured laugh with the following 100 jokes give you a bad advice zoo... Is such a beautiful face but lets put a paper bag over that personality list. The blackhole never look in the mirror in the face, I would call you idiot!